time wrecker trilogy

The Stories We Share

The Gaithersburg Book Festival reminded me why I write. The next day, Zain Asher’s book discussion reminded me why I read.

Many writers are introverts. I am no exception. However, as much as I treasure my quiet time to read and write, some events in the bookish community are just too exciting to pass up. Last weekend, I was lucky enough to attend two back to back! After Saturday’s Gaithersburg Book Festival and Sunday’s book discussion with Zain Asher, I’ve never felt more fulfilled as a writer and a reader.

These are strong words for a woman who would happily make like Thoreau and hole up at Walden for years on end. But, as I was reminded this weekend, I don’t write or read to escape community. We share stories to engage with each other, to find out who we are and how we can lift each other up.

This is what I was thinking as I loaded up the trunk of my car in preparation for the Gaithersburg Book Festival. My goal as an exhibiting author isn’t necessarily to sell books—although I’m grateful that I did fairly well on that end. My primary goal is to build relationships. I hope to leave book festivals with the names of other local authors who want to collaborate and local readers who want to stay in touch.

Since Gaithersburg was my first in-person book festival since the release of Any Second Chance, I was finally able to share an activity that’s been on my mind since I began drafting the Time Wrecker Trilogy. I invited readers to join me in folding 1,000 origami cranes.

In Any Second Chance, Mara takes on this project herself in an effort to heal and, at the same time, reclaim her identity. Although Mara looks very much like her Japanese-American mother, she knows almost nothing about this part of her heritage. What Mara does know is primarily learned from books and movies, not from her family.

Although Mara’s particular circumstances and her need for healing is a work of fiction, the tradition of senbazuru (folding a thousand paper cranes) is very real. The Children’s Peace Monument in Hiroshima, Japan welcomes people from around the world to fold and donate cranes to demonstrate a wish for peace. I have set the goal to fold a thousand cranes to donate. As many do (including Mara in my book), I discovered early on that folding so many cranes requires dedication, persistence, and a bit of help along the way. I was so happy to finally experience this first hand at the Gaithersburg Book Festival.

IIt was really exciting to see how many passers-by stopped to fold a crane with me at the festival. Taking on this project gave us a chance to connect and, while we folded, many people shared their own stories. Instead of just talking about my books and trying to make a sale, I got the chance to talk about Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes by Eleanor Coe and the real Sadako Sasaki, who is represented by a statue on the top of the Peace Monument. I spoke to some people who had visited Hiroshima themselves and some who had never folded origami but always wanted to learn. I met people who wanted to share their experiences looking for books with characters who looked like them and about uncovering their own forgotten stories from family history.

Connections like this are exactly why I became a writer and why I write the stories I do. This is an activity I look forward to doing again at future book festivals, since folding a thousand cranes will be a long-running project!

Normally, an in-person event like the Gaithersburg Book Festival would be enough to tire this introvert out for, oh, a month or two. However, Jill from Happy Women Dinners reached out to me weeks ago to ask if I’d be interested in attending a brunch with Zain Asher to discuss her new memoir, Where the Children Take Us. Forget that the brunch was the very next day after the book festival—there was no way I was going to miss an opportunity like this! I pre-ordered Where the Children Take Us and—I’m not even kidding—when it arrived in the mail, I ripped open the package and read sixteen pages before I realized I was still standing in the doorway!

If the Gaithersburg Book Festival reminded me why I write, then the book discussion with Zain Asher reminded me why I read. Zain is as lovely and genuinely uplifting in person as she is in her memoir. The discussion began with a lovely reading from the first pages of her memoir. I have never lived in the places Zain describes in her memoir—everywhere from a village in Nigeria to a house in South London, from a private all-girls’ school to the CNN studio. I haven’t experienced many of the topics she explores, either. But the stories she shared tapped into the truths that we all hold just under the surface—the way we grieve and fear rejection, the way we hope for our future and draw strength from our families. The fact that we all experience ndi eji amatu, a phrase Zain translated as loosely meaning, “those who set the standard” or uplift those around them.

As the women around the room chatted over brunch and asked Zain questions about her memoir, I was struck by how her book had resonated with each of us. Because Zain shared her family’s story, we were able to share pieces of our own lives with each other. I never would have imagined the life stories that we all carried into that room. That’s why we read, isn’t it? To enter a world of someone else’s experience or creation, only to discover that we have a home there, too. It was an incredible thing to be in this community of readers. We had all entered Zain’s story and left it more connected to ourselves and each other.

Books are so often written alone, read alone, even pondered and reflected on alone. But when readers come together at a book festival or a book discussion, the stories we share draw us to each other, remind us of who we are and all that we can become. When the introverts among us go back to our solitary work, plugging away at our own stories, we get to carry those connections with us. It’s the community we’re writing for, after all.

What’s in a Meme?

I love memes. Maybe we can blame that on an early love for the Robin Williams movie Flubber (seriously, his robot Weebo totally invented meme and gif culture!) But here I am, ten months or so into quarantine life, and my friends and I communicate almost entirely by sending each other memes. I use this one a lot:

The Bernie Sanders meme took off after Wednesday’s inauguration and it may be my favorite one yet. I love Bernie, I love his awesome upcycled mittens, I love that he dressed for the weather. Seriously, regardless of the event, DC is COLD in January.

Bernie has responded to it pretty well, too. He made his viral meme into a sweatshirt on his website, with 100% of the proceeds going to Meals on Wheels Vermont.

Which made me revisit a question that’s been on my mind ever since “meme culture” took over the Internet…

What if you were made into a meme?

I actually researched this pretty heavily when I was writing Any Second Chance, the second book of the Time Wrecker Trilogy. In the early chapters, a picture of Mara goes viral after she and Will are named in the time wrecker leak. Never mind that Mara herself has just discovered that she was once a time traveler. Now the entire world is sharing an image of her shocked and tear-stained face. One of the most painful moments of her life is now being mocked and endlessly recaptioned. To put it mildly, Mara does not take it well.

That happens, too. As much as I loved reading the positive stories that come out of some of these suddenly-viral memes, like Bad Luck Brian and Success Kid, there are some really ugly tales of lives turned upside down. I won’t name them here. For those that want to separate themselves from their sudden online stardom, it seems like the kindest thing to do is to…not keep talking about them on the Internet. I would recommend reading Shame Nation by Sue Scheff and Melissa Schorr. It’s a really in-depth look at the effects of “going viral” and what happens when it becomes a tool for cyberbullying and online shaming. Link is here (affiliate):

I grew up with the Internet. Around the same time I was starting to do research reports in middle school, the miracle of dial-up made it possible to find information online… in only twice as much time as it would’ve taken to walk to the library! It did get better, thankfully. By high school, people exchanged email addresses more than phone numbers. By college, the stigma of “meeting someone online” had faded—which is fortunate, because that’s how I met my husband. I know all the weird and wonderful ways the Internet can change our lives (to be clear: the Internet research is weird. The aforementioned husband is wonderful.) Over the past year, we’ve managed to keep some of the isolation at bay by bringing our real-life connections online. Thank goodness for that.

Now that we’ve been basically quarantined for the better part of a year, I’m especially grateful for the sheer variety the Internet has to offer. Livestreamed celebrations. Long video chats. Virtual visits. And hundreds upon hundreds of silly memes.

"Dogs drinking coffee/ Cheezburgers with kittens/ Cute baby Yoda/ And warm woolen mittens/ Fist-pumping babies/ and Lord of the Rings/ These are a few/ Of my favorite memes..." by Ellen Smith || Originally posted on the Ellen Smith Writes blog

Release Day! Any Second Chance, Book 2 of the Time Wrecker Trilogy, is Available Now!

If you’ve been patiently waiting to find out what happened to Will and Mara after Book 1: Every Last Minute, I have good news! The release day for Any Second Chance, Book 2 of the Time Wrecker Trilogy, is finally here! Any Second Chance is available in paperback and e-book through Amazon:

If you prefer shopping for books at Barnes and Noble and Books a Million, keep an eye out for Any Second Chance in the next few days. (Since the paperback was officially released today, it may take a few days for the ISBN to show up in the catalog!)

For those in the US, I’ve also made an (affiliate) account on Bookshop to help you shop indie while staying safe at home. I like Bookshop because it’s a convenient online bookstore—and let’s be honest, even before the COVID-19 pandemic, I did a lot of my shopping online. The exception for me was popping into my local independent bookstore. I really miss being able to chat with the store owners about their favorite books, ask for recommendations, and peruse the shelves on my own. I’m really looking forward to the day I can safely be back in-store, and until then, this solution helps me support my beloved local bookstores while shopping online. You can read more here about Bookshop’s mission to financially support indie bookstores. Here is a link to my affiliate account: Ellen Smith Writes Bookshop. I’ve done some of my Christmas shopping for friends and family already through this site and I love it!

Thank you for reading! I am so excited to share the next part of Will and Mara’s story with you!

Cover Reveal: Any Second Chance (Book 2 of the Time Wrecker Trilogy)

What ever happened to Mara and Will Sterling?

At the end of Every Last Minute, I fully intended to have the second book of the trilogy published within the year. But, as it always does, life happened. There was a surgery that got complicated, a way-too-long recovery, and, just to top things off, a global pandemic.

Through it all, I kept re-drafting and rewriting parts of Mara and Will’s what-next. I knew what would happen, but as I experienced my own healing process, it made me more sensitive to what theirs would be like. At long last (and over thirteen drafts), I had a draft that felt right.

Now for the scary-fun part: turning it into a book.

One of the really fun steps to getting a book ready for publication is the cover design. I’m very fortunate to work with Monica Haynes of The Thatchery, who brings her passion for reading to her art. She really takes the time to dig deep into the story and offers suggestions and asks for input as she designs. The result always means a lot to me as an author, because it’s the first time I see how someone else visualizes this story that I imagined. (Did you know she was also the cover designer for Every Last MinuteReluctant Cassandra, and Ghosts of Eagle Valley? See a full gallery of cover designs by The Thatchery here!)

As you can tell, I'm a HUGE fan of Monica's work! And while I might be slightly biased, her newest cover design may be my favorite yet! This is the cover for Any Second Chance, Book 2 of the Time Wrecker Trilogy.

Drumroll please...

Cover Reveal: Any Second Chance (Book 2 of the Time Wrecker Trilogy) by Ellen Smith. Cover design by Monica Haynes of The Thatchery || from the ellensmithwrites.com blog

Synopsis

New college graduates Will Sterling and Mara Gaines are ready to take on the world--together. With only two weeks to go until their wedding, Will and Mara are busy decorating their new apartment, preparing for two promising careers, and planning their future. They both feel lucky to have met their once-in-a-lifetime love.

Then a breaking news story turns Will and Mara’s happy world upside down. The sealed records maintained by the Department of Timeline Rectification have been hacked and leaked to the press. The data is shocking: in a span of just fifteen years, four and a half million Americans have been granted timeline rectifications. What was thought to be an occasional rehabilitation program for repentant criminals is far more routine than anyone guessed. Collectively, those named in the data leak become known as the Time Wreckers, the subject of national fascination and derision. No one knows which of those named in the leak were victims, which were criminals, or whether any of them can be trusted.

Will and Mara are shocked to see their names on the list, but more troubled to discover that they were married in their first life map, too. Even worse, their rectification took them back to a time before they met. Whatever the crime may have been, Will and Mara were willing to forget everything about that part of their lives, including each other. Does the fact that they found each other again prove that they were meant to be, or does it mean they’re about to make a huge mistake? Before they walk down the aisle, Will and Mara have to confront the truth about who they were…and decide how far they’ll go to find out.

Set in 2006, Any Second Chance is the second book in the Time Wrecker Trilogy.

I am so excited to share the cover design and synopsis for ANY SECOND CHANCE with you! Huge thanks to The Thatchery for once again creating such a beautiful book cover!

Stay tuned for the official release date—Book 2 is coming out later this fall!

Life Imitates Art

What have I been up to in the last 12ish months since I updated this blog?

I was healing.

It was complicated.

While I was recovering, it was not lost on me how much my own life mirrored the book I was writing. I’ve been drafting and editing Book 2 of the Time Wrecker Trilogy. In Book 1, Every Last Minute, Will and Mara must decide whether to allow the gunman to go back and undo his terrible crime, changing the trajectory of all their lives. In Book 2 (no spoilers!) the main characters again have to choose their path for healing. They have decisions to make and soul-searching to do. This time, changing their past is no longer an option.

Isn’t that how it is for all of us in the real world? We know we can’t change the past and that plays a major role in our healing. We have to move forward because there is no other direction.

But what if there was? It took well over a year before I could say, with complete honesty, that I was glad I had this most recent surgery. If I had been offered the chance to go back and undo it all—the most recent surgery, the one before, the one before that, or just eliminate the issue entirely—I can guarantee I would have taken it. I would have risked it all.

Thank goodness I didn’t have that option.

Chronic pain no longer runs my life. And now, healing no longer runs my life, either. I have more energy. I can focus better. I knew that I had turned a corner when I was able to focus enough to read a book. And I knew that I was back to myself when I was able to open up my laptop and write.

Maybe this is the blessing in disguise for my journey through life-imitating-art. As I read through Book 2: Any Second Chance, one chapter at a time, I’m paying attention to my characters’ journey through healing in a whole new way. The premise of the Time Wrecker Trilogy is science fiction, but the characters are true to life. Their thoughts are messy. Their hearts are hurting. Their journey has ups and downs.

And the healing is so, so worth it.

"Life imitates art far more than art imitates life"-Oscar Wilde || from the Ellen Smith Writes blog "Life Imitates Art" January 10, 2020

Book Excerpt from Every Last Minute

The Time Wrecker Trilogy centers around a fictional but incredibly controversial concept: timeline rectification. This alternative type of parole allows criminals to return to the day of their original crime and choose a different path. Throughout the series, I included news articles, blog posts, and opinion pieces that give different perspectives on the controversy. Should timeline rectification be legal? Even if it is legal, is it moral? 

As I get Book 2 of the Time Wrecker Trilogy ready for publication, I'm sharing a few samples from Book 1, Every Last Minute, here on the blog. (You can read the first two samples here and here.) The third sample piece is below. Enjoy!

Book Excerpt from Every Last Minute, Book 1 of the Time Wrecker Trilogy: 3 Reasons I Wish I Could Have a Time Wreck And 4 Reasons I Know I Can't || from the ellensmithwrites.com blog October 3, 2018

3 Reasons I Wish I Could Have a Time Wreck
and 4 Reasons I Know I Can’t

By Brian Kendall

 

Long ago, before timeline rectifications, before the Internet, before reality television or answering machines or any of the other modern-day annoyances that have come to plague my life, there was a young man. He was sixteen years old and his name was Johnathan.

Johnathan was five-foot-eleven, played basketball at his high school, and was dating a girl named Becky. Like most high school boys, he aspired to many things: becoming an astronaut, visiting his uncle’s ranch in Wyoming, passing his geometry class.

Johnathan did none of these things, because on one warm spring evening, he was riding his bicycle home from Becky’s house. He was out later than he was supposed to be and was pedaling home as fast as he could; trying, I expect, to make curfew. He was not wearing a helmet, as children often didn’t back in the seventies. He was not watching the road, and thus he did not see the car coming around a sharp bend up ahead. The driver of the car also did not see him.

Johnathan was killed immediately on impact.

I was the driver of that car.

In the nearly forty years since that horrible night, I have heard many young people talk about this concept of “justice.” Of late, the most heavily debated iteration of criminal justice is timeline rectification, and, if you’ll permit me, I’d like to give you the perspective of one old man who wishes more than anything that he could be a time wrecker. These are the top three reasons I would gladly take a timeline rectification:

 

1.       Johnathan’s death was easily avoidable.

Those of you who have grieved are doubtlessly familiar with the “if only” game. I’ll share the highlights of mine:

·       If only I had waited five minutes to go to the store. Alternatively: if only I had gone five minutes earlier.

·       If only he had reflectors on his bicycle, I might have seen him.

·       If only I had taken that turn more slowly.

·       If only he had been wearing a helmet.

That a person should die due to factors as small and easily rectified as these adds an additional level of horror and injustice to that night.

2.      His passing cast a pall on all who knew him . . . and many who didn’t.

I have never claimed to grieve at the same level as those who knew Johnathan: his parents, his friends, his schoolmates. I can only imagine the burden of grief they carry and the hole that his loss has left in their lives. Despite never having laid eyes on this young man until the accident, after his death I became somewhat obsessed with trying to honor the life that I had, wholly unwittingly, brought to an end. I read his obituary, the memorial in his school’s yearbook, and every article the newspaper printed about the accident. It was his death and my role in the accident that caused me to descend into alcoholism, which additionally cost me my wife, my house, and my job. I went from being a full-time father to an every-other-weekend parent—that is, when I was sober enough to pick up the kids. After a hell of a fight and two years of sobriety, I have now regained a job, an apartment, and a strained relationship with one of my children.

3.      Johnathan deserved to live.

And don’t we all? Whether Johnathan had continued to play basketball or date Becky, whether he ever became an astronaut or passed that geometry class, he deserved to live.

 

However, timeline rectification is a tricky business. The government does not simply turn back time for every sad old man who wishes he’d lived differently. There are four reasons that I will never be able to take back that night.

 

1.       Legally, the accident was not a crime.

Certainly, I have felt the weight of my role as a killer each day of my life. Legally, however, no charges were ever filed, and none were ever sought. This was an accident. According to the rules and statutes of the justice system, there can be no rectification for events that were not criminal.

2.       There was a fatality.

Timeline rectifications are not performed for incidents that resulted in a pregnancy or a death. I understand, in principle, why the Department of Timeline Rectification would make such a stipulation. In my heart, I think those of us who have seen crimes result in loss of life wish for the opportunity to turn back time even more earnestly.

3.      The accident occurred before 2000.

The technology for timeline rectification has existed since 1999, when the Supreme Court ruling was made. Presumably, Dr. Bennington had invented it before that, earlier in the nineties. However, partly due to the ruling and partly due to preventing some type of time paradox, we cannot change events that occurred before timeline rectification was first enacted under law.

4.      The accident involved a minor.

One of the facts I ruminate on the most is that Johnathan was killed in the prime of his life. Sixteen years old, with years of school and career and love stretched out before him. As much as I wish I could give that back to him, the law prohibits rectifying crimes that involve a minor, either as the perpetrator or the victim.

 

Often, people who are perhaps well-meaning or perhaps not will claim that there is a good and worthy reason behind every tragedy. Some will press me to believe that Johnathan was an angel meant to be called home early or that his death must surely have inspired some new law, some spiritual awakening, some good act that made this tragedy understandable. There is none. From one man who wishes he could change his past, to those who could change theirs: seize the opportunity you have. Nothing is worth a lifetime of regret.


Interested in reading more from Every Last Minute? The book is available now on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Books-A-Million. Ready to decide whether you would be a time wrecker? Take the quiz here to find out!

Why I Write

Last week, author Stephanie Verni challenged five authors to share five reasons why we write. That was a really good challenge--it took me a week to decide on my top five!

Even though I've been writing stories in one form or another for most of my life, the "why" behind my writing changes from time to time. Here are just five of the reasons I love to write:

Why I Write || from the Ellen Smith Writes blog www.ellensmithwrites.com

1. Writing turns tiny, fleeting thoughts into something real and permanent

I almost always have a blank book going where I can jot down anything that crosses my mind. Some years of my life are pretty well-recorded with diary entries for every week, if not every day. Other years, my blank books are mostly a collection of doodles, story ideas, dreams I want to remember, and other bits and pieces of my life. Occasionally I go back and read through these books, either to remember some real detail of my own life or to dig up an old story idea--both are equally likely.

For the same reason, I keep all the old drafts of my books (Just to give you an idea of how much paperwork that is, I have nine drafts of the book I'm working on currently, plus notes). I reference these old drafts all the time, just in case I find I've edited out some character background or something like that. It's fun to see how much the story has changed over time, too!

"We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect." Anais Nin || from "Why I Write" on the Ellen Smith Writes blog www.ellensmithwrites.com

2. Writing is an adventure of self-discovery

Sometimes I think my books know more about me than I do.

I may think that I know how I feel about a certain issue, like healthcare, or criminal justice, or even just small-town politics. Then I decide to write about it and I realize how much I really don't know. By the time I finish doing my research, I can guarantee I've learned something. By the time I complete the final draft, I've learned a lot!

One interesting consequence of writing the Time Wrecker Trilogy has been learning more about a variety of issues. For example, I hadn't spent nearly enough time considering how criminal justice really works in America. I hadn't thought as much about the concept of healing before, either, both from intended and unintended injuries. I'm curious to see how I'll feel about these issues by the time I'm done writing the third book! 

"The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe." Gustave Flaubert || From "Why I Write" on the Ellen Smith Writes blog www.ellensmithwrites.com

3. Writing is all about possibility

The first time someone called me a science fiction writer, I thought they'd mistaken me for someone else. I didn't feel like I was making up very much about the physical world in my stories, and compared to many science fiction authors, I really don't. The worlds I write about are only slightly different from this one. Take a small town in southern Virginia, and add a woman who can see the future: now you have Reluctant Cassandra. Take Washington, DC over the past decade, but make it possible to use time travel for criminal rehabilitation: now we're in the Time Wrecker Trilogy. I love taking these tiny steps outside reality. And according to one of my favorite authors of all time, that is science fiction. (Thanks, Ray Bradbury.)

"Science fiction is any idea that occurs in the head and doesn't exist yet, but soon will, and will change everything for everybody, and nothing will ever be the same again. As soon as you have an idea that changes some small part of the world you a…

4. Writing is my creative outlet

I've dabbled in just about every creative hobby out there: music, sewing, paper crafts, crochet, baking...but I always come back to writing.

There is something in me that needs to create. I can hold it over by doing little projects around the house, like cooking dinner or practicing the piano. But eventually, I'll need to sit down and carve out time just to be creative. I love working as a freelance writer because it allows me to fill that creative need so often, but I balance it with fiction writing, too. Of all the ways to be creative, writing is the one that suits me best.

"And the idea of just wandering off to a cafe with a notebook and writing and seeing where that takes me for awhile is just bliss." J .K. Rowling || From "Why I Write" on the Ellen Smith Writes blog www.ellensmithwrites.com

5. I have to write. There's an idea that just won't let go.

This is my very favorite reason to write. Sometimes I'll have a story idea percolating in the back of my mind for months (or years...) and then suddenly it becomes a story I have to tell. That's the really fun part, when I'm racing to my notebook or my computer to write down some little scene I just imagined, or I'll be driving and suddenly figure out a plot twist. If I had to pick one reason why I write, this would be it. I know the story is already there: I just have to write it down.

"An idea in the head is like a rock in the shoe; I just can't wait to get it out." Phyllis Reynolds Naylor || From "Why I Write" on the Ellen Smith Writes blog www.ellensmithwrites.com

Life Lately...Plus a Book Excerpt from Every Last Minute

Sometimes you find the exact words you're looking for hidden in the pages of a book.

And sometimes, in a bizarre turn of events, that book is one you wrote yourself. 

Today marks twelve weeks since my foot surgery. I have some mixed feelings about that milestone, especially since I still have a long way to go. I'm working hard in physical therapy and I am so grateful for the progress I've seen so far. However, I've had a few setbacks the past few months. Healing is a slow process. Just to give you an idea of how I've been handling that, I'll tell you: when I called my doctor's office a few days ago, instead of saying "I'm a patient of..." I accidentally said, "I'm impatient..." 

Freudian slip, anyone?

Throughout this long recovery, I've been holding out for a moment when I'll feel "normal" again--or even a time when I'll hit a new normal. I thought maybe it would be when I ditched the crutches, or when I was finally able to drive again, or when I had more energy and less pain. And then I remembered:

"This is forever--this one broken, beautiful life. We're only guaranteed one chance to do it right." Book quote from EVERY LAST MINUTE by Ellen Smith

Even though I don't feel "normal" yet, my broken, beautiful life is happening now. That includes my writing life. Projects for my freelance clients always come first, but I've still managed to squeak out some energy for editing the Time Wrecker Trilogy. It's so easy for me to get frustrated by the ways my current life compares to my old writing routine, but you know what? I'm going to refocus on how much I love this story, and how determined I am to get it right. Every step forward is worth celebrating because it brings me a little closer to my goal.

It was so funny to me that the words I needed to hear were tucked away in the first book of the Time Wrecker Trilogy, Every Last Minute. They're spoken by Renee Rasmussen, the "voice" behind one of the editorials included in the novel. The full text is below. I hope you enjoy this little excerpt!

Book Excerpt from EVERY LAST MINUTE by Ellen Smith: "You Get One Life."

 

You Get One Life

By Renee Rasmussen

 

One life.

One time.

One chance to get things right.

There are so many times that I’ve waited and wished and prayed for a second chance, only to be denied. Have you read all the articles out there about timeline rectification? I have. Have you looked up an inmate in the system to see if they’re nearing eligibility for parole . . . meaning they might have a shot at getting into the rectification program? I have. Have you written personal letters begging an inmate to consider a rectification? I’ve written over 200—averaging one a week for four years.

I had a perfectly ordinary life until I was thirty-two years old. Not perfect, mind you. Perfectly ordinary. I had a roommate who was friendly and a cat with terrible cat-food breath and a job I liked well enough but wasn’t a career.

And then, one day, in the middle of my very ordinary existence, I was knocked unconscious. I woke up in a hospital bed, attached to more monitors than I’d ever seen in my life. My apartment had been broken into by two teens who were high on drugs and looking for anything they could steal and sell on the black market. I didn’t know them, and neither did my roommate. Our door was locked. Our blinds were shut. We just had the bad luck to be in the first-floor apartment when these two men got the idea to break in.

They were arrested quickly, did us the favor of admitting their guilt, and are currently serving their sentences. This is where the story gets interesting: at the end of the trial, my lawyer turned to me and said, “Give it a few years. If they qualify for the rehabilitation program, you’ll probably get a time wreck. This isn’t forever.”

This isn’t forever. I clung to those words as I tried to rebuild my life. My roommate was too traumatized to consider another apartment in the city. She ended up moving back to her home state to be with family. She took the cat too. I hope they’re doing well, but to be honest, the whole experience was so hard that we can’t talk without it all bubbling back up.

I don’t have my old job anymore. When it reached the point that I’d been in the hospital longer than I’d ever worked there, they let me go—and legally, they had no obligation to keep me for as long as they did. Finding a new job and getting insurance with what are now “preexisting conditions” was a nightmare. I’d like to go back to counseling, but I can’t afford it. I think a vacation could be restful, but I have to save up all my days off in case I need another surgery.

For years, the only thing that kept me going was the chance that someday, I might get a timeline rectification. Believing that all my struggles were temporary helped me handle every challenge.

At last, the time came when the criminals could qualify for the rehabilitation program. They both signed up.

They both dropped out.

I felt like I was going crazy when I found out they’d left the rehabilitation program. What happened? Why did they change their minds? Could they try again? Finally (after I wrote many, many letters), one of them wrote back. He had been willing to put forth the effort to rehabilitate, but his partner in crime wasn’t. Prison was working for him. He was powerful there, respected. He didn’t want to change. The other criminal—the one who had written to me—was very sorry, but unless they were both willing to rehabilitate, a time wreck would be impossible. He was working toward his own parole, apologized again for his actions, and wished me well.

This is forever. It took me one letter to realize it, but much, much longer to believe it. For over a year, I devoted myself to the cause of convincing these two men to change their minds.

But after a while, I began to realize that I simply couldn’t change people who weren’t willing to change. The only person I could rehabilitate was myself. And so—slowly, painfully—I began the long, hard process of accepting my reality.

This is the problem with time wrecking: it lets victims focus on changing the past instead of shaping the future. At some point, we all must decide whether we’re going to keep looking back or start moving forward. My journey has been full of stops and starts and many, many backward glances, but I am finally moving forward. At last, I’m starting to heal.

This is forever—this one broken, beautiful life. We’re only guaranteed one chance to do it right.

Let’s make it count.

#ReadLocalDC Blog Hop: It's About The People

In 2007, I came to Washington DC as a twenty-one-year-old grad student. I was newly married, newly enrolled at The George Washington University, and completely new to city life. I'd spent the previous four years going to college in Lynchburg, Virginia, where "mass transit" took the form of a city bus. On my first day at GWU, I couldn't even figure out how to get out of the Foggy Bottom Metro Station.

I had rarely felt so out of my league.

Granted, I'd been to DC before. Pretty much anyone who grew up in Maryland or Northern Virginia can tell you stories of class trips to the Smithsonian, complete with lunch on the National Mall and pictures outside the White House. I felt familiar with Washington, DC--but I didn't feel at home.

I spent my first few months in the District mentally cataloging all the ways I didn't fit in. The people around me talked faster, walked faster, and thought faster. I kept quiet and avoided eye contact at the same time that I wished I had someone to talk to. What could I possibly have in common with anyone else in this city? 

Then one day, I looked up. Not at my shoes, not at the book I was reading, not at the map that was falling apart from overuse. I looked up at the gorgeous classic buildings that I walked past every day on my way to class. I saw art installations and murals scattered throughout the District. There were bookstores and boutiques tucked in between government buildings and museums. I couldn't believe how much I'd missed. 

This city was beautiful.

But, I came to realize, not half as beautiful as the people that live here. 

Selfie outside the Library of Congress, sometime after DC began to feel like home.

Selfie outside the Library of Congress, sometime after DC began to feel like home.

I had made the mistake that we're all guilty of from time to time: I was so consumed by my own experience that I hadn't really paid attention to the people around me. Once I turned my focus outward, I realized that I had never been the outsider I imagined myself to be. In DC, you're almost as likely to meet someone who's originally from another country as you are to meet someone from another state! I was far from the only newcomer navigating my way through a strange city.  

As I started getting to know my fellow Washingtonians, the most common questions were, "Where are you from?" and "What brings you to DC?" Some people, like me, had come to DC for school. Others came for work, for family, or for politics and activism. Through these conversations, I came to realize that who we are, what we value, and what we believe doesn't form in a vacuum. Our past experiences had given us all very different reasons for being in DC and very different perspectives on our time here.

I had always been taught to listen to differences of opinion. It wasn't until I was a transplant in a city of transplants that I began to appreciate how we formed such different opinions in the first place.

Every Last Minute by Ellen Smith || www.ellensmithwrites.com

When I began writing the Time Wrecker Trilogy, Washington, DC was the only setting I could have imagined for the story. The series centers around a fictional controversy: what if time travel was used as a form of criminal rehabilitation? Would it be moral to allow criminals to go back in time and undo their offense? Would it be ethical to deny them the opportunity? While the time travel element qualifies as science fiction, the emotional conflict is familiar for many of us. The characters in my story are simply trying to make the right choice in a society that is conflicted about what it means to be "right." 

In the first book of the trilogy, I tried to show the different sides of this contentious issue through the perspectives of my two main characters. But there was still something missing. These issues often have more than two sides, and I wanted to represent that. Throughout the story, I included blog posts, newspaper articles, and opinion pieces about timeline rectification written from a variety of perspectives. Writing these creative nonfiction pieces gave me a chance to step outside my own assumptions of why a person would be for or against erasing a crime from the past. It made me think about how someone would have arrived at their position and why they might hold it so strongly. It made me realize how people on every side of an issue could feel misunderstood, misrepresented, and outright attacked.

With our monuments and marble buildings and grand avenues, Washington, DC exudes an aura of confidence and power. But when we look past those things and into the eyes of our neighbors, it's easy to see that we all have moments of being the "outsiders." I've lived in the area for over a decade now, but I'm still tapping in to that lesson I learned when I first came here: when we're brave enough to step outside our own experience, we often find we aren't alone.


Thanks for reading! To return to the #ReadLocalDC Blog Hop on Ellen Smith's website, click here: http://bit.ly/readlocaldc

#READLOCALDC Blog Hop: It's About The People || Posted on Ellen Smith Writes Blog for the #ReadLocalDC Blog Hop

Sample Chapter from Every Last Minute: In Defense of Timeline Rectification

The Time Wrecker Trilogy centers around a fictional but incredibly controversial concept: timeline rectification. This alternative type of parole allows criminals to return to the day of their original crime and choose a different path. Throughout the series, I included news articles, blog posts, and opinion pieces that give different perspectives on the controversy. Should timeline rectification be legal? Even if it is legal, is it moral? 

As I get Book 2 of the Time Wrecker Trilogy ready for publication this fall, I'm sharing a few samples from Book 1, Every Last Minute, here on the blog. The first sample piece is below. Enjoy!

Book Excerpt from Every Last Minute on the ellensmithwrites.com blog

 

Krushin' It Together

A personal blog by Klara Krusher

 

In Defense of Timeline Rectifications

Published March 31, 2011

 

So I try to stay out of politics on this blog. I do. If you’ve been following my blog for the last couple of years, you know I like to keep things upbeat. But in light of the protest in DC this week and the bloggers coming out of the woodwork to rage against Deirdre Collins’s new reality show—which, come on, isn’t reality TV pretty rage-worthy anyway?—I feel like I need to speak up.

Look, I don’t like the idea of timeline rectifications any more than you do. I want to say that they’re a terrible idea, that there’s no problem so big that it justifies mucking around with time. I want to post the numbers to some hotlines and give the websites for some charities and tell you that no matter how bleak life seems, there’s always help available.

But you know what? That’s not true. The kinds of crimes that qualify for a timeline rectification leave more lasting damage than you can fix with three sessions of talk therapy or a couple months in the slammer. They cause big problems that require big solutions.

 I feel like I’m going to lose some readers for this. Maybe a lot of readers. But I feel like there needs to be a point where we stop talking ourselves in circles and start doing something to help.

I’ve been really frustrated with the tone of the online conversation surrounding timeline rectification. We’re all about raising awareness these days. We throw data and statistics at each other to support our points of view. We get angry and drop friends and lose followers as we passionately stand up for what we believe.

But what are we doing?

Because, honestly, if you’re so against crime victims agreeing to time wrecks, are you doing anything to help them in this life map? If their insurance runs out—or if they don’t have any—would you pay for their physical therapy? Their mental healthcare? Give them a job? What if they need help even after you think they should have “moved on”? What if they aren’t back on their feet before you’re bored of playing the white knight in their story? 

And what about the offenders? How many people with a criminal record do you know, really? Are you supporting rehabilitation programs? Would you rent to someone who had just been released from prison? Would you hire an ex-con, or is finding them a job someone else’s problem?

Because if not, guess what?

You’re the reason why people think timeline rectifications are their best option. You’re the reason why people think they have more to lose and nothing to gain by staying. You’re the reason people think there’s no help for them in this life map.

Because sometimes, it’s true.


Interested in reading more from Every Last Minute? The book is available now on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Books-A-Million. Ready to decide whether you would be a time wrecker? Take the quiz here to find out!